Late last year we made a conscious decision to stop forcing our home to look like what a “normal” house is supposed to look like, and instead make it work for the people who actually live in it.
Turning the lounge into a gaming room
We set up three gaming desks, each with a gaming laptop, proper keyboard and mouse, and headphones. This wasn’t about excess or indulgence, it was about connection.
Gaming is something we can all do side by side. We’re together in the same space, but each person can engage at their own level, in their own way. Sometimes we’re playing together. Sometimes we’re doing completely different things. Both are equally valid.
To balance this, the couch was moved upstairs and turned into a quiet / chill-out space. That gave us a second option:
- connection when we want it.
- calm and decompression when we need it
Having both has been critical.
Meeting everyone’s needs - not just one person’s
One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned is that a house can’t be designed around a single idea of “how people should live”. What matters is meeting everyone’s needs in a way that still works for the household as a whole.
That means:
- Accepting that different people regulate differently
- Understanding that comfort for one person shouldn’t come at the cost of distress for another.
- Designing spaces intentionally, not aesthetically
It’s not about perfection. It’s about balance and respect.
Consideration goes both ways
Consideration isn’t silence at all costs. It isn’t rigid rules. And it isn’t everyone being uncomfortable so things “look right”.
For us, consideration looks like:
- Headphones so sound doesn’t overload others
- Clear spaces where people know what to expect
- Predictable setups that reduce friction and stress
Everyone knows the boundaries of the space. Everyone knows they’re allowed to exist in it.
Supports that actually support
Headphones have been a game changer. They allow:
- Immersion without noise overload
- Hyperfocus without constant interruption
- Regulation through sound, music, or gameplay
Just as importantly, we allow hyperfocus when it’s needed. We don’t fight it. We don’t constantly pull people out of it “just because”. When someone is regulated, engaged, and calm, that’s success in our family.
Choosing what works, not what’s expected
As we learn more about ourselves and each other, we’re becoming more comfortable with this idea:
"We will continue to do what works for us and our family, even if it goes against what the “unnerospicy” world expects."
A lounge room doesn’t have to look like a magazine. Family connection doesn’t have to look like board games at the table. Regulation doesn’t have to look quiet or still.
What matters is that our home:
- Feels safe
- Supports everyone in it
- Allows connection without forcing it
This setup works for us. And that’s reason enough.
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